A Discworld/GoT crossover: in which Sam Vimes basically just arrests everyone and that’s it that’s the show
Sam Vimes wielding an axe screaming ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO BE KING? And then dismantling the iron throne and giving all those swords to the revolution.
Vetinari takes one look at the Iron Throne and orders it melted down for its metal
The table in the chamber of the Small Council has an axe embedded in it.
Lady Sybil talks dragon-care with Kaleesi, clucks her tongue at her first-time dragon owner faux pas….
The golems talk to the unsullied about owning yourself, writing your own words…
Death looks around at all the people dying and throws up his hands. He lets the Death of Rats take over for a while because he’s so done with all the people.
#vimes wouldn’t stand for any of the shit that happens in GoT #if he was somehow moved into GoT world #the whole thing would be resolved in one book/season #if not less #hell - he and granny should be dropped in westeros #all the issues would be solved in a second #because if westeros need anything it’s someone with common sense #and then sybil would come over and take care of the dragons #and vetinari would take over the bloody iron throne #by which i mean that he’d melt it and turn it into something of practical use #instead of an ass-hurting chair #yeah. basically every reality would be better if discworld characters would be moved there
felt like this awesome post needed a summary : )
tyrion is the one vimes trusts the least, but goes to the most
also, cheri thinks he’s fiiiiiiiiiiine
sybil and cat talk about their husbands’ similarities
there is no one who receives a more severe face punch than janos slynt
nymeria helps angua find arya inside a week
not only does carrot take the black, he revolutionizes the operation of it nearly overnight and draws more men to it just by his presence alone
he also finds a loophole in the lore while library-ing it up with sam where he can still marry angua because of course he does
theon is baffled into not betraying the starks by ridcully
willikins pulls a “end of ‘snuff’/giles end of season 5” on joffrey
tommen starts playing thud! with vetinari
cersei is guarded by detritus because he’s so trollish none of her tricks work on him
… yeah, I basically want the A-M Watch to invade King’s Landing and Fix All The Things
And now I’m imagining Errol (Formerly Known as Goodboy Bindle Featherstone of Quirm) meeting Drogon, Rhaegal and Viserion.
Also, there’s a strong chance that Reg Shoe would go and try to recruit Wights for the Fresh Start Club.
"It was the dumb way the pawns went off and slaughtered their fellow pawns while the kings lounged about doing nothing that always got to him; if only the pawns united, maybe talked the rooks round, the whole board could’ve been a republic in a dozen moves."
This would be a very different story with Vimes in Westeros. Just imagine how he would have taken all the Starks to task for letting honour outweigh common sense.
Oh my sweet fuck
Can you imagine Granny in Westeros tho
Forget Melisandre, Granny would settle her down with a mere shake of the head
reblogging myself because the summary needed expansion. it got better!